left on read…
(to those who say "out of my inbox now" tell me and you're gone - I will soon swap to an opt in platform though i was not asked to op in the jokes write themselves...)
meditation on power ... validation. "show, don't tell" said wittgenstein - late. very well. thoughts - mine are jumbled - or are they? timeline all what's needed. soon enough. meditation - on power ... validation ... recognition ("get off of social media - highly recommended for life in the IC (oops I mean OC sorry my bad)" - did they not think I'd swap to black marks white background long lists hit send? drive - for recognition - and safety in visibility - runs deep in our species)
why is it the more i write about my accidental life adjacent to increasingly entwined with - ghosts - and though they moan stomp grunt frown when keyboard is heard in microphoned rooms - i can almost feel them smiling purring thumping tails happy for the human need for -- recognition - that is surgically lobotomized out of the minds of bright young - ivy spies (or so they try) - and when I see them on the streets the quiet signals oft contain a twinkle and a cracked smile yes he's the one they said who recognize.
i see you you don't see me that's the goal ya? it is a profession - after all. but what can an intelligence officer do with this - information? pass it on. analyze. recommend. trade more from other - spies. (no no not spies those are the dirty laborers we the ivy are "officers" "analysts" "advisors to the president" etc)
so the drive the will to power that's present in all men to some degree (yes even you quiet one back of the room you got out of bed and made it to the screen - that counts) is choked a bit after the info is obtained and passed on once digested - decisions actions left to others. and this leaves I think - a quiet remaining hunger - to be - human.
information assymetry is a kind of power for the one who sees through one way mirrors - but - compartmentalization - there the power begins and ends. a lonely life dependent for success on anonymity (or at least most of the professionals of this profession seem to believe almost fetishistically religiously in the sacred cow of silent anonymity and if that cow do moo my god the silent transmitted anger can be felt across the galaxy)
and perhaps i think more than perhaps quite likely almost certainly is how i accidentally some years ago became - entangled with - these quirky quarks - you see i ate. instead of passed on by.
down this rabbit hole long enough and you may also reach a point where being "left on read" by a famous and powerful unreachable impossible unobtainable old man who sits in his robes with the two or three others of his global stature at the top of this strange and cloistered roped off craggy misty mountain - being "left on read" - means in a kind of twisted way...even though you didn't seek it...someone pushed open a door you didn't know was there when you blinked and looked away...you can't help but say:
"wow. no fucking way. rand danimulchan left me on read. i'll never wash this phone again."